[Blog Post] Funny Questions About Tourism in Australia

Here are some of the really funny questions asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their website, and some answers that may be appropriate. The original joke was floated around by email many years ago and I thought it might be worth sharing!

  • From the USA: Which direction is north in Australia? (From the Editor – the same direction north is anywhere!)
  • From Sweden: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (From the Editor – We just have to wonder what for??)
  • From Germany: Do tents exist in Australia? (From the Editor – Only in camping grounds, tent stores, caravan parks, National parks etc)
  • From France: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (From the Editor – Yes, we celebrate Christmas at Christmas time, hehehe)
  • From Italy: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (From the Editor – So they prefer outdoor sports?)
  • From The USA: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (From the Editor – Yes, unlike the Canadians, all our states/regions are English speaking, hehe)
  • From Italy: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true and if so, can you send me pictures of the available ones? (From the Editor – We’re starting to see a theme with the Italian questions here!)
  • From Germany: I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue? (From the Editor – Depends on the level of pollution in the water that day – just kidding!)
  • From The UK: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (From the Editor – Home & Away and Neighbours have a lot to answer for!)
  • From The USA: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (From the Editor – It really does depend how much alcohol you’ve consumed.)
  • From Germany: I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction should I drive – Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth – to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (From the Editor – Day trips? Literally several thousand kilometres from Sydney? You’d need a teleporter and the sun wouldn’t be a problem, hehe)
  • From Sweden: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics – can I follow the railroad tracks? (From the Editor – It’s about 4000km so we think he’d have missed the entire Olympics and a year of his life by the time he arrived!)
  • From Italy: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (From the Editor – I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume the language translator really got it wrong!)
  • From South Africa: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (From the Editor – We do have toilet paper and plumbing in Australia!)
  • From The UK: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (From the Editor – We imagine the Olympic committee would have had fun providing the details of literally thousands of ATMs in these huge areas)
  • From Portugal: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (From the Editor – We really don’t know what to say about this??)
  • From The UK: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (From the Editor – This had to be someone taking the Mickey, right?)
  • From The UK: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (From the Editor – We stopped eating with our hands years ago!)
  • From France: Do you have perfume in Australia? (From the Editor – We just got perfume last year, smells great mate!)
  • From Germany: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (From the Editor – Sure, if you have a submarine.)
  • From Germany: Are there killer bees in Australia? (From the Editor – If we said no would you bring some with you? hehehe)
  • From The USA: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (From the Editor – There are so many things wrong with this question, I don’t know where to start!)
  • From Germany: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (From the Editor – Everyone knows milk comes from supermarkets, cows, schmows.)
  • From The USA: Can you please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum? (From the Editor – OK, you’d have to provide your own rattlesnake though. We have tiger snakes, brown snakes, black snakes, red-bellied black snakes etc, but no rattlesnakes!)
  • From The USA: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (From the Editor – Repeat after me.. OS-TRAY-LI-A.)
  • From The USA: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (From the Editor – Um.. Koala? It’s actually not a bear though ;o)
  • From The USA: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (From the Editor – I think she’s over you by now!)

If you’re overseas and you’re reading this – all there really is to learn from these questions is that Australia is not much different to other countries. It might be very large with amazing natural scenery and unique native animals but we basically live the same way most people do!

We hope you had a laugh at these funny (and quite innocent) questions from tourists planning their first visit to our shores.

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