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Ever wondered what it means to be “fair dinkum” or why Aussies are “flat out like a lizard drinking”? Aussie slang is as vibrant and unique as the land down under, and it’s something worth celebrating! At Australian Native T-Shirts, we’re bringing this colourful language to life with our range of funny Australian slang t-shirts. Perfect for adding a bit of cheeky Aussie spirit to your wardrobe, these tees are available for fast shipping within a day. Dive into the world of Aussie slang and wear your favourite phrases with pride!
A couple of funny Australian jokes we found floating around the email! One is about beer (no shock on that topic!) and the other about Aussie slang – with a difference!
Beer Makes Wonderful Fuel
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon.
Not bad eh!
From the Editor – I think their estimation on beer consumption is a little low!
Australian Slang with a Twist!
The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition.
You may need to be an Australian to understand!
And for the Kiwi’s amongst us:
![[Blog Post] Funny Australian Place Names](http://www.australian-native.com.au/cdn/shop/articles/blog-funny-place-names_300x300.png?v=1495773745)
Like most countries, we have some funny place names. I would imagine when they were named they weren’t too funny but as language develops as does slang it makes for some funny signs.
Below is a list of some of the funny ones in Australia:
This is our unofficial Australian Citizenship Test, see how well you understand the questions below, are you a True Blue Aussie?
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term ‘died in the arse’?
2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: ‘In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.’
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) ‘If the van’s rockin’ don’t bother ?
b) You’re going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
7. I’ve had a gutful and I can’t be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard ‘up on blocks’? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else’s beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people’s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter ‘b’ is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to ‘prang a car’ while doing ‘circle work’?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson, John ‘True Blue’ Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
22. What does “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?
23. How far would you wear your mockies?
Inside only?
Back yard only?
To the letter box?
To the milk bar for a packed of winni blues?
To the movies?
To shoppo? (large shopping centre)
To the pub?
The sun was hot already – it was only 8 o’clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
“Typical bloody sheep,” he thought, “they’ve got no common sense,
“They won’t go through a gateway but they’ll jump a bloody fence.”
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She’d stay there ’til she carked it if he didn’t get her out.
But when he reached the water’s edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn’t rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn’t stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam.
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn’t get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he’d hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away
He didn’t really think he’d get fresh scones for morning tea
But nor was he prepared for what he was about to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly “Come back here, you lousy bitch!”
The stock rep didn’t hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky’s reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
Received via email – Author unknown.
We posted 10 ways to tell if you’re Australian earlier in the blog and here are another 10 – how many apply to you? We have also added brief explanations to the end for our visitors from across the sea!
You know you’re Australian when: